You know, people don’t talk enough about emotions in autism. They’ll mention routines, sensory stuff, or communication, but feelings? Those get overlooked. And yet, for me, they’re one of the biggest parts of my life.
Here’s the thing — I don’t feel less. If anything, I feel more. Sometimes way more than I know what to do with. The problem is, it doesn’t always look the way people expect. I might be over the moon excited inside, but my face? Totally calm. Or I might be holding back tears on the inside, but I’m still talking like nothing’s wrong.
How I Show Feelings (Or Don’t)
I’ve had people tell me, “You don’t look happy,” when I’m literally bursting with joy inside. And yeah, I’ve been told I “overreact” when something unexpected throws me off. What they don’t see is how emotions and sensory overload are linked for me — when my senses are hit hard, my feelings come in big.
When I Can’t Name It
Sometimes I know I’m feeling something, but I couldn’t tell you if it’s sadness, anxiety, or just being tired. That’s alexithymia — fancy word, I know — it just means I feel things deeply but can’t always label them right away. And honestly, that can make things pretty overwhelming.
About That Empathy Myth
A lot of people think autistic folks don’t feel empathy. I wish they knew how wrong that is. I can feel someone else’s pain so much that it sits heavy in my chest. The challenge? Figuring out the “right” way to show it. That’s when I use scripts — like, “I’m sorry you’re going through that” or “That’s so exciting!” — not because I don’t care, but because I want to make sure I say something that connects.
If You Want to Understand
If you really want to know what I’m feeling, don’t just go by my face or tone. Ask me. Give me time to figure it out. Sometimes my emotions need a minute to catch up to my words.
Because my emotions aren’t missing. They’re just different. And sometimes, they’re even more intense and beautiful than you’d think.
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